made a 1st appointment for the gender clinic place 2-ish weeks ago. wish i did it earlier. but i held off since i knew i had to tell my mom about it. the thing is, the system here sucks as both (yeah there's only two) gender therapists insist you bring a parent in for one of the later meetings for cross examination i guess? it sucks is what it is. couple of years ago when i finally came to terms that i definitely wanted to go on t i thought i could just do it without my mother knowing. ah. if only. how naive
and guess what, in the end i didn't even manage to tell her, i just called the clinic because i was sick of waiting for the perfect moment to approach her regarding this topic and then backing off, because i just didn't feel like having an hour long conversation minimum. she doesn't even have a proper grasp on what trans is. she still thinks im just a weird lesbian probably, despite my asking to call me her son on occasion. why would i want to go to a therapist? gender therapist even? she's not exactly the biggest fan of the regular kind. even the word gender is sorta foreign to her. id have to explain hrt to her at some point. i wanted to donate blood last week and she totally freaked out because i pass out like, once a year and she "knows my body". im sick of the system in this country why is the opinion of some cis person who barely even knows the meaning of the word trans have to have such a strong impact on whether you give me that fucking F64.0 - transseksualizem whatever diagnosis printed out on a piece of paper. a stupid piece of paper that will finally give me the ability to start the ardious process of medical transition.
not groovy man.